In light of opening up about my mental health in a previous post, I feel more comfortable with exploring thoughts on emotion. Though this is an element in my workshops, there's something about blogging that makes it feel less natural to talk about. Hmp.
I stayed at home alone on Christmas Day. Das right -- I said what I said. Issues aside, I morphed into true creative form and spent almost the entire day in front of my computer writing.
Minus the few times that I ate (honestly surprised I remembered to do that), I poured myself into finishing a poem that'd gone undone for a couple months. Due to the nature of the poem (repressive jib jab), I assumed it would just take a while for it to feel "complete."
Nah. It was my procrastination.
I've been battling with what comes up once I start writing or doing anything artistic as a whole. Since it's all a resurfacing of feelings, when I'm feeling low, I ignore my creative work. I think about it constantly, but tend to avoid poems when in these periods. Journal writing feels more accessible. Probably because of its literal nature.
I ended up finishing that poem, cleaning up another, and started/finished another two.
this was my most successful writing day in a while. I listened to all kinds of music, took a nap around 6:00 PM. My day was full of peanut butter, bagels, and more butter. It was truly great.
Creatively, at least. But I spent a lot of time crying or emotionally exhausted. Lol -_-
(Since I drafted this post a month ago, I've been dropping some consistent fire on the page. Finding comfort in this discomfort has been an oddly sweet discovery. A blessing, even.)
By 9 PM, I looked THE most unattractive I've looked in a long time behind closed doors. Definitely set a new bar. BUT I'm so proud of myself. Proud of having stepped into and all up and through my discomfort and agony.
I've submitted these four poems to five or so literary journals and magazines. I'll be published next year in Linden Ave. Literary Journal which is really exciting! Feeling confident, aware, awake, and...honest. Really honest. How about you?
Thanks for reading, friends :] Hope you've been having a safe ride into the new year. Be sure to find us at the social links below! We're just beginning (*wink*).