Skateboarding Challenges My Anxiety. Here's Why I'm Not Giving Up

Animated overwhelm via  GIPHY .com

Animated overwhelm via

Hello, friends! 

I'm sure the week's been good to you, but tell me more in the comment section ;)

I'm all for trying new things.

I went to a skating event yesterday that took me waaaaaaay *WAY* out of my comfort zone. 

I usually skate along Prospect Park's scenic bike routes. The path inside the park leaves a generous amount of space for everyone. The outlying path is tight, but there's this neat little section that creates a narrower path along the edge. On its busiest day, Prospect Park bike paths are no where near as congested (re: terrifying) as the Westside Highway on 12th Ave., which is where I skated last night. 


Terror #1

Um. I have anxiety issues, which is why this blog exists in the first place. HAH!

Dogs. Tall humans. Small humans. Tall humans on roller blades. Dogs with owners riding longboards. (Yes.) Runners and joggers; carriages and couples; bicyclists, cars, horns, and more horns.

I lost my breath before I put my wheels on the street. 

Meeting everyone in the group was great. We were all excited to get moving, and I had a great time during that first hour of kicking back. When the sun began to set, we shot some video before starting the journey. The anxiety kicked in as soon as I turned my back to the sun; I looked at the cobble stone, the cracks, the commotion, and the newness of this colliding environment. I only felt fear and a hurried need to escape.

(😂  I laugh @ my pain when the pain is over.)

terror #2

I didn't care that I was the slowest skater in the group, but I hated that I was the slowest one in an unpredictable environment.

When I'm at Prospect, the road is so open and accessible that it at least feels like my life is entirely in my hands. Lol. Skating along the Pier, I was dominated by thousands of people and objects who'd clearly been there before. They owned their space, and rang cute little horns that sounded like they'd eat me alive at the time 🏁

My usual confidence disintegrated. I've been posting clips of my progress to my Insta stories; these days, I'm learning to scrape the floor without pummeling into the ground! Last night? I was wobbly, I tripped easily, and my pushing was terrible. My balance was null. I felt like it was my first time on a board, and no instruction to breathe helped. Lol.

*insert crying laughing emojis everywhere*

non-terrible things

There's gotta be some positive in this, right? Well... The sun. (Hah!) New stickers!!! Having legs to push with at all. The lights on my wheels excite everyone.

I'm also proud of the distance I went. I skated about 50 blocks before giving up and walking to the final destination, which was a picnic site by the Hudson River.

I was aggravated, defeated, and overwhelmed by the final stretch, yet the experience was worth it. I left with my heart racing and my shame in tow -- I can't be at my best every time ;)

My sister says I look tired. I think I look happy to be alive. Ahahahahahah...

My sister says I look tired. I think I look happy to be alive. Ahahahahahah...

To sum all that up: When's the last time you felt mortified? Was it yesterday? Was it this morning? Hey, it might've been five minutes ago. I'm right there with you, boo. It sucks, but disappointment makes for a decent blog post! The lows are where the stories grow (unless you want to sound completely pretentious! :D).

Here's my previous blog about the newnew in my life, and here's my about me page. It's one of my favorite tabs on the site :D Wherever you are today, make it count! Happy Friday!