4 Ways To Be An Ally During Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2017

Pocket Penguin!!!! Via GIPHY.com

Pocket Penguin!!!! Via GIPHY.com

Hello :[]

I'm BACK from my monthly week off from bklynprose bloggo + social media.

For new readers, I give myself this time to avoid getting caught up in the blur. But I'm still moving behind the scenes. I performed at two mic nights last week and debuted one new poem that I'm really excited about. Also working on a few partnerships AND some merch!! 

...Which leads me to today's bloggo! 

October = Domestic Violence Awareness Month


There's a solid chance you know someone who jolts a little when Domestic Violence Awareness Month rolls around. This person is:

  1. Unsure if what they've been through "counts" as abuse
  2. Certain that they've been abused and secretly -- or outwardly -- praises the visibility this month brings
  3. Has a loved one who's survived, is currently facing, or has succumbed to the effects of domestic violence

Domestic violence = abusive actions that begin to form an unpredictable pattern. An abusive partner is entirely unpredictable, therefore domestic violence should not be described as cyclical

In any case, these behaviors are used to "gain, maintain, and regain power and control in the relationship," according to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. An abuser may use a myriad ways to establish this power dynamic, whether it's physically, sexually, psychologically, economically, or a mix of these.

Here's The Duluth Model. The Power and Control Wheel (one of seven Duluth Model wheels!) offers a comprehensive view on how violent partners carry out their tactics.

anything sound familiar?
The Duluth Model via  TheDuluthModel .org

The Duluth Model via TheDuluthModel.org


This Duluth Model Power Wheel (pictured below) is more specific to LGBTQ+ relationship violence, which has its own idiosyncrasies.

anything familiar for your LGBTQ+ relationship?
The Duluth Model for LGBTQ+ relationships via  National Domestic Violence Hotline

The Duluth Model for LGBTQ+ relationships via National Domestic Violence Hotline

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is the offspring of the "Day of Unity," which originally sought to connect domestic violence advocates around the country. It became a week-long commemoration featuring local, statewide, and national activities centered around raising domestic violence awareness and victim support.

The first DVAM (woo!!!!) occurred in the distant past of 1987 🌬️ with the U.S. Congress sealing October as DVAM in 1989. *I'll snap to dat*

Why purple for DVAM?

In the U.S. Military, soldiers who have been wounded while serving receive The Purple Heart. In both the military + for DV survivors, the color purple radiates peace, courage, and survival.

The Purple Heart for a wounded soldier via  Scout .com

The Purple Heart for a wounded soldier via Scout.com

So you've got enough info here to spark your own research. Since you're looking for ally tips, READ 'EM AND DON'T WEEP. Here's how you can be a supportive ally (ya'll know how I like my tips: clear and to the point!).


Are you talking more than you should? We often hear folk without absorbing their words. If someone is already struggling to feel noticed and important, a genuine ear is priceless. 

Be Present

Is your cell phone in your hand? Throw it. Are you drawing up plans without paying attention to where they currently are? Stop it. Focus more on what they need from you right now, and zero in on individual steps instead of a broad, overwhelming picture of what they "should" do.

Be Resourceful

Are you prepared to provide your loved ones with options? There are readily accessible sources all over the internet, but take an extra step to provide phone numbers, websites, or even other humans that can offer assistance. It'll save them time and added stress, and they'll never forget this.


This is the step I need to follow most. There's more than enough work to be done; volunteers keep many programs afloat. Extra help in the form of call center help, recruiting supporters on college campuses, and building DV awareness in local community spaces creates a ripple effect on other people. Folks will remember what you stand for.

Ya'll know self-care is vitally important

Helping other folk is draining. Think about what keeps you level, and don't let those touch points go. Walk your dog, talk to your fish, get your hair or nails done. Showing love to yourself does an infinite good for other people.

(Ally tips courtesy of The Pixel Project + Fatherhood.gov!)

The best resources ever (click those links!):

No More

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

NYC Domestic Violence 24-Hour Hotline

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

The National Network to End Domestic Violence

NYC Anti-Violence Project (I completed a Community Organizing Training here, woo!!!)

National Center for Transgender Equality

DV Allied Organizations in NYC

Futures Without Violence

IPV Prevention Council

Safe Horizon

Thanks for joining me :D

Working on a few exciting things for ya'll. I've been saying this a lot lately -- good things come to those who wait ;] As mentioned, I've got a few partnerships, consistent events, and some lite merch lituations in the vault... Muahaha.